– all it takes is to right one simple mistake!
Somewhere in the murky past we experience or are given the idea of not being enough – not being good enough. It might be a parent or guardian who tells us, or it might be a conclusion we arrive at ourselves. ‘I’m not good enough’ then becomes more than an idea to play with, as it takes on the proportions of a belief – an idea held strongly and fixed in mind. As such, it now has the power to wreak havoc in our lives, and the lives of others around us. From then on, we will always be trying to get ‘better’, so we can once again feel ‘good enough’, (as we still vaguely remember that feeling, and it might kick in from time to time.)
In our extreme efforts we will always fall short of the mark, as the thing we are aiming at, or attempting to achieve, is always just out of reach. We will then either internalise all this, and feel bad about ourselves, or project it onto others in hate – this becoming the basis of war. If not projecting our shortfall onto others, our self-disappointment becomes frustrating and disheartening. Becoming eventually obsessed with the idea of being ‘better’ than we are, we become increasingly attuned to the space between the tips of our fingers and the thing we are trying to attain – the thing that’s tantalisingly just out of reach. And hey – guess what? The gap gets even wider!
Then we begin to think: ‘I’m never going to be enough, and I try so bloody hard it’s unbelievable – I might just as well give up!’ Unwittingly this becomes the first step toward healing the hiatus (gap) – the separation between who or what we think we are and the person we are aspiring to be. Giving up means surrendering. It’s not easy at first because we mistakenly believe we are failing and ought not to be giving up. It seems all those years of trying are going to be wasted. For a while we’ll come and go to the idea of giving up, and will likely think: ‘No! I’m not giving up on myself like this! I’m never giving up, as I know it’s possible to become that person!’ And this idea then serves to keep us even longer in the grip of our original mistake – in the very first thought of not being enough.
Once you begin to stand aside from it all, and see the whole thing in the light of truth, you begin to realise that the insane illusion you’ve placed yourself under is slowly crippling you. Now healing is on the way! The gap will appear to shorten as it becomes less important to attain anything – and the thought will begin to lose its power over you. Finally you fully realise the mistake you have made, realise that you ARE OK as you are – just as you are – and you are bound to feel so unbelievably relieved! It has never been true that you were not good enough – it was only a silly mistake. Whew – what a relief!
As a divine creation you are ABSOLUTELY ok just as you are! You live in the sunshine of God’s love, who or whatever that might mean to you – absolutely in the sunshine! The truth is, as human beings, we are all awesome. And you don’t even need to believe this for it to be true. But you do need to drop the mistaken idea that there is room for improvement in you as a person, that you are not enough as you are, that you need to be a ‘better’ person, to become a ‘better version of yourself’, as some self-improvement gurus have coined it. These people are extremely well-meaning – but also deluded. Mistakes are one thing, and can be seen for what they are, acknowledged, and let go of. But all those other ideas are something else – and can only serve to compound feelings of inadequacy and guilt. If you are carrying any of them, drop them all now – and feel the wondrous relief of experiencing yourself as OK – as being OK just as you are now – perfectly content with who you are! (The word ‘perfect’ actually just means ‘complete’ – warts an’ all!)
Personally, in line with my religious background, I now see this whole process as the basis of the Bible story of the garden of Eden. The forbidden fruit was from a tree called: the tree of knowledge of good and bad. Humans were told not to eat from it, for if they did they would begin to die. ‘Don’t even go there!’ Then some sly serpent, who appears to come from outside of us, slithers in and says, in effect: ‘Go on – give it a try! You can be just like God if you do!’ And so we do try it, because of course we want to be good like God! And then the separation begins. The ancient word for separation is ‘sin’. So we suddenly see ourselves as sinful – separate from the godly (good) person we want to be. We therefore perceive ourselves as unworthy and deserve to be punished – to be ousted from that paradise garden of delight – where everyone is partying ‘cept poor ol’ me! Eating the fruit of knowing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ was the one simple mistake we made. (Come on – we were kids for Christ’s sake! And therein lies the whole basis of redemption. . . )
There is NO ROOM for improvement on something that God has deemed very good. Our mistake has been to think there is. We were already like God – created in his/her image. Our return to paradise is just a matter of seeing the mistake and letting it go. And the good old serpent, albeit wily, has done us all a favour in helping us realise just who we really are – who we always have been all along.